


Adventures in Babysitting

by Silex



Category: Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Babysitting, Silly, little kids are something else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 06:32:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12102828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silex/pseuds/Silex
Summary: Lulu and Wakka are going out on a long overdue date, but who's going to look after Vidina? Yuna, Rikku and Paine of course! After all, how hard can babysitting be for the trio of premiere Sphere Hunters? The answer might surprise you.





	Adventures in Babysitting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silveradept](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/gifts).



> Holy crap, I wrote something that's not rated Mature? What's gotten into me, and it's humor where the punchline unspeakable horror? It's been forever since I've played this game, but seeing the request got me thinking. I've always liked writing babysitting fics so this was a natural fit for me, or maybe an unnatural fit because, yeah.

“And his milk is in the ice box. Make sure you warm it up, but not too warm, test it on your wrist before you give it to him. Don’t want to scald the little guy, ya?”

“Wakka,” Lulu gently put a hand on her husband’s shoulder.

Yuna smiled hopefully at her two older friends, dressed up and ready for their long overdue night out.

“Just a minute,” He smiled, brushing her aside, “He’s been giving us a hard time about bedtime lately. You can try singing him to sleep. ‘Ten Little Hypello’ is his favorite lullaby right now. If that doesn’t work you can try reading to him. I keep the bedtime stories next to his crib and –”

“Wakka,” Lulu repeated a little more firmly, using both hands this time.

“I got it, I got it, this is important though,” he turned back to the trio of intrepid sphere hunters who he’d recruited for this most difficult task, “No sweets before bed, but he’s teething so maybe one icee from the icebox, but not too late.”

Rikku nodded. She’d been taking notes the whole time, “I’ve got it all, I think.”

“Okay, that’s good. Now what am I forgetting?” Wakka turned to Lulu with a smile.

She gave him a long suffering smile in return, “I think the girls can handle things.”

“I know, I just want to be sure.” Wakka laughed nervously then his expression brightened, “Oh! That’s right! You gotta make sure he has his favorite stuffed toy when he goes to bed. Moobly Moomba he calls it. It’s a Moogle though so don’t get confused, it’s because he can’t pronounce it. We had to wash it today because he tried to feed it beach berry jam and boy let me tell you that was a mess. The whole kitchen, purple.”

Wakka gestured around the small house with a smile.

“That’s enough,” Lulu started pulling Wakka towards the door, “We don’t need to overwhelm the poor girls.”

“I’m not overwhelming them,” he huffed, then he turned sheepishly to the trio, “Am I?”

“I…umm,” Yuna looked to Rikku who was still going over her notes.

Rikku didn’t look up as she read out loud to herself, “Make sure he wears a hat outside, he’s walking now so nothing is safe, Moobly is a Moogle, only one icee, no sweets, no beach berry jam, two blankets when we tuck him in - the blue one is softer, bedtime stories next to the crib, doesn’t like yellow potatoes, will only eat the purple ones, cookies are on the top shelf, don’t let him climb on the furniture…hmm… No playing with…that can’t be right… I can’t read my own handwriting here.”

She held the pad up to Paine for help.

Paine took it from her without even bothering to look, “Don’t worry, we’ve got this.”

Lulu looked relieved.

Wakka looked uncertain, “You know where to find us if you need to, right? Just in case something happens.”

“Nothing’s going to happen,” Lulu reassured as she continued to walk him to the door.

“I guess I’m just nervous,” Wakka admitted to his wife as they left, “I mean this is our first night out, our first real date since…What, maybe a year and a half now?”

As they walked away, leaving Yuna, Rikku and Paine to handle the situation on their own Yuna looked at her two friends, “We can handle this. I mean how hard can this really be?”

Rikku took her notes back from Paine, “I don’t know Yunie, there’s a lot to remember.”

“It’s not that hard,” Paine sighed, “I don’t know why the two of you let him get you so worked up.”

In the next room, separated from the rest of the house by a brightly colored curtain adorned with brightly colored animals, both real and imaginary, crying started. Vidina, Wakka and Lulu’s son had woken up.

“Alright!” Rikku jumped up with a little twirl, “I’ve got this one. ‘If he wakes up cranky pick him up and rock him in your arms!’.”

Smiling confidently Rikku skipped over to the curtain and drew it aside, “Oh! You’re not going to believe how the shirt they have him in is! It’s got smiley face Blitz Balls all over it.”

Still smiling she picked him up with a little grunt of effort and began to carry him around the house. Right away it became apparent that Wakka had left out a detail, that Vidina had grown since they’d last seen him as an infant, grown bigger and heavier.

A lot heavier.

Two laps of the room and he’d stopped crying and was staring happily up at Rikku.

Paine smiled.

Yuna let out a sigh of relief that turned to a startled squeak when Rikku passed Vidina off to her.

“Oh my,” Yuna’s eyes went wide, “He takes after Wakka, doesn’t he?”

Rikku nodded, “He’s heavier than he looks, by a lot.”

Yuna started to carry him across the room to where his toys were, only to freeze when Rikku let out a squeal and nearly fell over.

“What’s wrong?” Yuna turned around as fast as she could.

Arms windmilling wildly, Rikku struggled to keep her balance as her head was jerked to the side, “He’s got my hair! Yunie he’s got my hair!”

Giggling, Vidina waved his arms, giving Rikku’s hair a good tug which only added to her distress.

Disentangling her was a team effort, but after several minutes and a good deal of coaxing they managed to free Rikku.

After that it was simply a matter of setting Vidina down with his impressive collection of stuffed toys and watching as he set them up in a circle around him, counted them all off by name and then started rearranging them, play acting what appeared to be a game of Blitz Ball.

Yuna and Rikku joined in as the cheering crowd, much to Vidina’s delight. Paine stood back and watched, arms crossed over her chest, the picture of disinterest.

Suddenly at halftime the game took an interesting twist. Vidina stood up with a very serious expression, picked up a bright pink plush shoopuff and sat it down on a chair.

Rikku and Yuna managed appropriately distressed expressions when they realized that the star player of the team had been put into the penalty box, or ‘time out’ as Vidina put it. They weren’t sure what the plush toy had done, but it was bad enough that Vidina pushed the chair to the corner and made the toy sit there facing the wall.

“They’re a player short!” Rikku gasped with exaggerated distress, “How will the game go on?”

“Bench,” Vidina said with a grave expression and toddled off to his parents’ room, returning with a plush Moomba held high over his head.

Paine’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at the sight of the battered toy. Its colors were dull and faded, a sharp contrast to Vidina’s other toys. In several places its fur was worn thin, the fabric shiny beneath. Rough cloth patches had been sewn across its stomach and paws with thick, sturdy stitches and its button eyes were chipped.

“Moobly to the rescue!” Yuna giggled, still caught up in the spirit of the game, “The star player was benched after an injury but now he’s back to pull the team through for a big win!”

Vidina laughed and clapped, putting the toy on the floor next to the others. Its head lolled to the side, moving back and forth slowly.

“I don’t think that’s one of his,” Paine said softly.

Rikku took out her notes, “It’s not Moobly at least. Because it says right here that Moobly’s a Moogle.”

“Hmm,” Yuna’s looked at the toy with a thoughtful expression, “It does look familiar though. Where have I seen a doll like that before?”

Clapping and picking up two of his other toys Vidina came up behind the mysterious doll.

Its head stopped moving and it rose unsteadily to its feet.

“Oh no!” Yuna stood up and hurried to grab the doll before anything could happen.

“Bzzz!” Vidina stuck out his tongue and buzzed, “Bzzzz! Bzzap! Zap! Zap! Zap!”

Yuna jumped back as sparks flew from Lulu’s magic doll, “We’ve got to get it away from him!”

“I’ve got just the thing!” Rikku stood up and took a dress sphere out of her pack with a flourish, “I knew this would come in handy!”

She tossed it to the retreating Yuna who had to dive to catch it.

Landing on the couch she looked at the sphere, “The Mascot Costume?”

“Yup. Now hurry up and put it on!” Rikku urged, jumping out of the way of a spray of sparks.

Paine was wisely keeping her distance,

Holding the sphere up high Yuna struck a pose and did a quick costume change.

Vidina took one look at the giant Moogle standing in the room and dropped his toys. The magical Moomba doll stood up a little bit straighter.

“Bad moo, bad,” Vidina pointed at Yuna. The Moomba took a shaky step forward, the glass buttons of its eyes glinting ominously, “Bad, bad moo. Moofeed. Moofeed.”

“No,” Yuna shook her head, making the costume’s pompom bob comically, “You don’t need to feed the Moogle.”

Then she did a silly little dance.

Vidina didn’t join in.

“I don’t think he’s saying ‘feed’,” Rikku warned, stepping behind a chair for cover, “I think he’s calling you a fiend.”

“Oh.”

The lights flickered as sparks arced from the toy.

“Bzzz!” Vidina pointed at Yuna, “Buzz-zaga-zap!”

A small jolt of electricity leapt from the toy to Yuna who jumped back.

Vidina smiled.

A new game had begun.

“Zap! Zap!” Vidina laughed as Yuna dodged sparks and bolts of lightning, “Zap-a-feed. Bzzz!”

“I’ll save you!” Rikku jumped from her hiding spot and went to grab the doll.

Paine took a step forward, “Don’t!”

But the warning came too late, Rikku had already grabbed the toy.

The next jolt arced to her and was enough to make her hair stand on end.

“Save me!” Rikku squealed, staggering back from the electrified toy, “I hate lightning!”

“I’ve got this,” Paine shook her head at the antics of her two friends and the toddler, “Do you want a story Vidina?”

He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, “Not tired.”

“I didn’t say it was bed time,” Paine reassured, “I was just thinking, Moobly’s had a busy day so I was thinking the two of us should tuck him in for a nap. We can read him a story together. Do you know where he’s hiding?”

The Moomba doll sat down on the floor, the glow of electricity surrounding it dying down. Vidina smiled, “Moobly this way!”

He marched over to a laundry rack near the front door and retrieved a bright purple, freshly cleaned toy Moogle.

“Bedtime Moobly,” Vidina said sadly.

“That’s right, bedtime for Moobly,” Paine agreed, “But how about we put on our pajamas too? That way Moobly will go to bed without a fuss.”

Vidina looked at her suspiciously.

“We can play more when he’s asleep,” she reassured him.

Yuna and Rikku looked on in amazement at the scene that was playing out before them.

Without protest Vidina let Paine put pajamas on Moobly and then on him, make a big show of brushing the toy’s teeth and hair and then helping Vidina do the same.

Afterwards they picked out a story together, ‘Hello Yellow Hypello’.

Paine put Moobly and Vidina in the crib and then sat down next to it, holding the book open so that Vidina could see the pages as she read.

Later, Yuna and Rikku would agree that the most impressive thing wasn’t that she could manage the tongue twister of a story without stumbling over the words, no, the most impressive part was how Paine read each character in a different silly voice and puffed out her cheeks and crossed her eyes when she read the parts about the titular Hypello.

When she was done Vidina looked at her with amazement.

“Again?” he asked hopefully.

Paine repeated the whole thing without complaint, right down to the funny faces and voices. She kept reading, right through to the end, even though by the time she was half way there Vidina was nodding off. He was sound asleep when she finished and she put the book on the shelf with a triumphant smile.

“That’s how it’s done,” she laughed at her amazed looking friends.

“How?” Rikku asked, looking back and forth between her and the sleeping child.

“I have little cousins,” Paine shrugged, “Lots and lots of little cousins. I got stuck babysitting all the time when I was little. It’s no big deal.”

Yuna and Rikku exchanged a look. This was something neither of them had ever known about their friend, that she was good with kids.

“You could have told us this from the start!” Rikku fell back with a quiet cry of despair.

“Yes,” Yuna scolded playfully, “Before I got zapped.”

“It was fun seeing the two of you sweat,” Paine laughed.

“We’ll get you back for this,” Rikku waggled a finger at her.

Yuna nodded.

“You _owe_ me for this,” Paine teased, “I could have kept quiet and let you two keep playing ‘zap the Moogle’ with him and you’d have been none the wiser.”


End file.
